People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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