is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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