Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
