Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
