It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
