I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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