Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
