batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
