Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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