I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
