I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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