Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
