I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i now understand why vodka
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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