I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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