aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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