We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
