this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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