belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
