Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Randomize
