Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
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We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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