omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
