I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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