I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
