mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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