why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
