You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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