Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
