my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
