But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
