AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize