The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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