I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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