They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
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His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
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Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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