my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
