She announced her abortion via fbk
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
