I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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