mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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