the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize