I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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