He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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