I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
