he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
