I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
