why didn't you poke me back
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
