69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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