And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
