the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
