Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
