I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
