It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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