sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Drunk is a universal language darling
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
