Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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