Got a toothbrush?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
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