I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
