Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
