he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
