You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
