i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
