Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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