You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
