I wish i was in the wii world.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
