SEEEEXXX PLEASE
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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