a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
